5.  Writing the Blues

On the handout provided, make a list of things that frustrate you, frighten you, or make you sad.  You might want to refer to your Writing Territories list for ideas if the music hasn't inspired you.

Now, you're going to write your own blues lyrics.  Below are a list of tips.  Feel free to follow them, but also feel free to ignore them.  More than anything else, the blues are individual.  Following a strict pattern can actually make you blue!  Therefore, remember that the following tips are only suggestions.

● Many Blues songs begin “woke up this morning.”

● "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in immediately:
        I got a good woman—with the meanest face in town.

● The Blues is simple, and you've probably noticed that a lot of the songs rely on repetition. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes...or almost rhymes.
        I got a good woman—with the meanest face in town.
        I got a good woman—with the meanest face in town.
        She got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weighs 500 pounds.

● The Blues is not about limitless choice.  The world of the Blues is a simple one.
        You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch, baby.
        And there ain't no way out.

● Hook your listener with a very sad first line, so sad that you already evoke sympathy:
        I didn't wake up this morning...

● If you're mentioning transportation in your Blues (and this happens a lot), remember that Blues cars are Chevies, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Other acceptable Blues transportation modes include Greyhound buses, southbound trains, hitchhiking, and walkin' until your shoes give out. The Blues can't travel in Volvos, BMWs, SUVs, or airplanes.

● Keep your location bluesy. Hard times in Vermont, Tucson, or North Dakota are just depression, not the Blues. The best places to have the Blues are Chicago, St. Louis, Kansas City, or anywhere in the South. Oh, and it's been said that you cannot have the blues "in any place that don't get no rain."

● Good places to have the Blue are the highway, a jailhouse, an empty bed, or the bottom of a whiskey glass.

● When you write the Blues, add any necessary details to make your story even sadder. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg while skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg when your broken-down pickup truck rolled over on it when you had an accident on your way to bailing your mother out of jail is.

● Remember that the Blues isn't about color.  It's about simple bad luck.  Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues; Gary Coleman could.

● Drinks are mentioned a lot in the Blues.
        I asked for water, my baby gave me gasoline.
        Instead of water, that woman done give me gasoline.
        I'm a-drinkin' and a-smoking,
        That woman's just plain mean.

Other acceptable Blues beverages are wine, whiskey, muddy water, beer, and strong black coffee. Snapple and anything from Starbucks should never be mentioned in the Blues.

●  Death is mentioned a lot in the Blues.  But make sure it's a proper Blues death. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a bus station, it’s a Blues death. Being stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is also a Blues death, as are substance abuse, the electric chair, or being denied treatment in an emergency room. It is not a Blues death to die during liposuction or from complications following plastic surgery procedures.

● As teenagers, realize you're at a disadvantage when singing the blues. Many believe that the Blues comes best from adults who lived a hard life and are fixin' to die.  If you ain't old enough to get the electric chair because you shot a man in Memphis, you're at a distinct disadvantage.

●  Another problem is that you can read!  Most folks singin' the Blues ain't never had much of a chance for education. In the Blues, the three R's stand for Railroads, Runnin', and Rehab.

● When you sing the Blues, "it gots to be dark."  The best time to perform the Blues is after midnight. Singin' da Blues at noon is forbidden...unless you're wearing dark sunglasses.

It's now time to write the blues.  Put on your sunglasses and feel the blues pulse through your body.  You can tell a story, or just write some lyrics about how you're feeling.  If you need help, ask me to hum the riff that goes along with the following few lines; it will give you some structure.

                Woke up this mornin'
                 Can't believe what I saw
                Woke up this mornin'
                 And this is what I saw.
                  My woman done left me
                  And run off with my pa.
                     
If this doesn't work, feel free to write your blues to the tune of one of the songs you listened to today.  Another trick is to use the tune of "When the Saints Go Marching In!"